You're Doing It Wrong If You're Denying Envy

How do you deal with envy toward other authors?

Someone somewhere told you to be happy with what you have. For me, it was my parents. They said, “Jay (I didn’t embrace my given name until reform school because I was teased for having a ‘girl’s’ name), Jay, eat your Velveeta Mac ‘n Cheese and stop complaining. There are starving children in Africa.” I knew then, as I know now, what an absurd argument that was, but I failed to see how it unconsciously taught me to view envy as a negative character trait.

It was only when I’d lost everything to drugs, alcohol, and kleptomania that I accepted an alternative worldview.

I was stealing books from bookstores and underwear from Nordstrom and chocolate-covered graham crackers from Starbucks, because I was trying to suppress my desires. The junk I stole was a poor substitute for what I really wanted, but it distracted me from having to confront the massive deposit of envy I’d suppressed.

Getting high and drunk allowed me to vent that envy in small but thrilling ways, and as you can imagine, I began to fall apart under the weight of my addictions. It took me being arrested and charged to admit my predicament and take a hard look at who I’d become. Instead of suppressing the envy, I chose to accept it, and to let it inform my pursuits. Did I envy Haruki Murakami’s life?

Instead of trying to steal his book why not try to live like he does? Stop feeling guilty about envy and start using it to inform you about what matters so you can be clear on where you’re going and confront what it takes to get there.

(Hey, shameless plug here, my ebook THE SEVEN-FIGURE MARKETING MINDSET FOR NOVELISTS is available for preorder, publication date 1/2/2023. If you buy the ebook and email me proof of purchase, I’ll give you a free copy of the audiobook on 12/2/2022, one month early.)